Oh fork! When you make a mistake, what’s the first thing you do? Sometimes, you found yourself so dumb and throw names at yourself for doing something wrong….
Sounds familiar?
You are doing and solving problems for others, do they care? Or you met with misfortune, you have been a good person, what’s running in your mind now?
Self-care, self-compassion and whatever the names are, do you realize that like others, you are not perfect. So making a mistake, being in a situation you can’t control is normal part of life.
The trick for stoic, I realized, is to catch yourself before the act and prevent the act from happening.
Wow and how? Realize that with a bit of reflection and mindfulness, you can actually prevent lots of self blame and self criticism.
Let’s roll back to the beginning, if you find yourself being too harsh to yourself.
1. Forgive your old self
The past is already past and the future is yet to come, why just say sorry and let go of your old self? remember it’s the virtues you need to cultivate. If you can forgive others, give a break to yourself.
It is not events that disturb people, it is their judgements concerning them.
— Epictetus
2. Start treating yourself better
For my case, I have spent my life earning a few pence to keep up with food and lodging. After enough has been saved, I gave myself a bit of a bonus to go out relax. Give yourself a massage, a facial or a fun outing within your means.
- Check your bank account if you can afford it
- If you are in a company, check leave balance
- Sort out all your schedules so that you can keep others from bothering you (arrange childcare)
- Invite friends to join – I find this form really chill and I made one just to cheer you up
No matter how hard it gets, stick your chest out, keep your head up and handle it.
-Tupac
3. Traits of self compassionate – be a friend of yourself
“If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?” — RuPaul
In a state of non-judgemental (like what stoic did), try now to listen what you say to yourself.
Is it something like ”why can’t you do a single thing right?” or kind words like you treat your friend or child.
Hey friend (free yourself from judgement)
“You have power over your mind—not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” – Marcus Aurelius, Meditations
“Here is a rule to remember in future, when anything tempts you to feel bitter: not ‘This is misfortune’, but ‘To bear this worthily is good fortune.’” – Marcus Aurelius, Meditations
“Focus on the moment, not the monsters that may or may not be up ahead.” – Ryan Holiday, The Obstacle Is The Way
Now I realised is, my mentors are all dead. Those people who struggle before me wrote how they manage their own thoughts.
Resisting self-compassion: Why are some people opposed to being kind to themselves?4. Journal like Marcus Aurelius did
There are a few apps you can place your famous words into. Sometimes a piece of paper will do. For younger generations, apps
Podcast
Be mindful of what runs through your mind.
Or just meditate
A stoic Minimalist 